I don’t know how many times a day I look at you in awe and disbelief. Even though I’ve been your mommy for over 6 months now, I still can’t believe that you are my child and that I entirely deserve you. Your personality is really starting to show and shine. You laugh and smile all the time. My favorite smiles are the ones that you direct at me. How lucky am I receive such a gift multiple times a day? I love you so much my heart hurts.
You’re growing and changing every day, as evidenced by the bins we’ve already filled with too small baby clothes. I often wish my memory came equipped with a video camera so I could replay every moment of the past 6 months whenever I wished. Gone are the days when you would sleep in my arms (or sleep anywhere for that matter) and I wish I could rewind time to have you sleep in my arms again. Every once in awhile you’ll fall asleep after eating, and I let myself sit and enjoy you until you wake up.
You are finding your voice, and it’s adorable. I mimic your babbles and sounds and you stop to stare at me in awe, surprised that I can make the same sounds that you can. You love buzzing your lips, and even when you have sweet potatoes in your mouth, you don’t know that the consequence of doing so will result in sweet potatoes all over me (or maybe you do, and that’s why you do it.) You’re eating solids, and have eaten avocado and sweet potatoes so far. Neither experience has gone amazingly well, but you’re still trying to figure out what the heck you’re suppose to do. You’ll get the hang of it. I can’t wait to learn what your favorite foods will be.
You love things that turn and spin, and you’re an expert at moving your wrist back and forth to make things move at the speed you’d like them to.
I wonder what you’ll do with those hands someday. Whether you are a scientist, a teacher, a musician, a salesman, an accountant, or a job of some other field, I know you’ll do amazing things. I believe this because you amaze me every day.
I don’t know how many times I have counted your tiny toes. If I could, I’d count all your eyelashes, too.
Instead of trying to fold the laundry or check my email, I often sneak in to watch you while you nap. You look so peaceful and happy, and my heart can’t help but to swell with joy. I wonder what you dream about.
I never tire of holding you. When I’m with friends and family and people reach out to take you from my arms, it hurts my heart a little bit. I know I should share you with everyone around me, but I am selfish and want you all to myself. After all, you grew inside me for 9 months and whenever you’re not in my arms, I feel incomplete.
Sometimes a feeling passes over me in which I believe that it’s impossible for anyone else to possibly know how much I love you, but then I realize that I’m wrong. Every mother, every parent has been there and understands.
As you grow into the boy and finally into the man you will become, I wonder what you’ll be like. Will you love seafood like your daddy and be afraid of storms like me? Will you open car doors for the women in your life like your daddy (I hope you do) and enjoy getting lost in a book like me?
The past 6 months have gone so fast, and when I see parents with newborns at church or the drugstore, I often warn them with the same warning I’ve received countless times: “They grow up so fast!” I know you’ll be walking, going to kindergarten, getting your first girlfriend, going to prom, and graduating high school in no time. Until then, I’ll ignore the toys all over the floor and the mountains of laundry you produce in order to try to savor every moment in between. I don’t want to miss anything.