I haven’t posted in a long time. It was easy NOT to write, because there was no pressure to do so. The only other person who knows about this blog is David, so when I felt the need to take a step back for awhile, it made the decision that much easier. Ever since we started “trying” last summer, I have felt pretty consumed with everything baby (it’s hard not to be) and deciding to stop blogging helped to separate me from that–at least a little. I was still feeling all sorts of emotions about everything that happened, but at least I didn’t make myself write about it.
But now…I’m back, and with a very good reason! I am pregnant (9 weeks and 1 day to be exact). My darling baby is about the size of a grape. I’m amazed and how quickly he/she is growing! Our due date is set for Christmas Eve, and we couldn’t dream of a better Christmas present! In a few days, we will be only 7 months away from meeting baby b (hypothetically speaking, of course.)
I wish I could say that the past several weeks have been easy ones. The past 6ish weeks have been such a roller coaster (please ignore the overused metaphor). While I am beyond excited, I can’t honestly say that I’ve been able to enjoy my pregnancy thus far. I will spare some of the details, but I’ve had three ultrasounds so far, one of which was an emergency at only 5 weeks and 1 day. My doctor seems hopeful, but we are still not considered to be “in the clear.” Right now the only thing I can do is take each day as it comes.
Because of the miscarriage in January and the recent happenings, we will likely not reveal our secret to anyone (besides family) for a few more weeks. It has been the hardest secret to keep, as most days I want to scream it out to the world. It is such a strange feeling, but I find myself thinking: How can the entire world continue on as normal when I have a baby growing inside me? Most days I still don’t believe that it is real.
Below is the ultrasound picture from last week (when I was 8 weeks and 3 days.) Yep, it’s real!